Just a thought.

Hi again Professor Freud…
May 31, 2007, 7:33 pm
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To dream that you are in a casino, signifies the risk-taker within you. If you are a reserved or passive person, then the dream suggests that you should take a chance. If you are not, then it implies that you need to make a more informed decision instead of relying on fate.

To dream of black magic, represents that you have obtained your wishes and wants through underhanded tricks. It also symbolizes evil and treachery.

To see a wallet in your dream, symbolizes financial resources or self-identification.
To dream that your wallet has been stolen, indicates that someone may be trying to take advantage of you.
To dream that you lost your wallet, suggests that you need to be more cautious and careful about your spending and finances. You need to be more responsible with your money. Alternatively, it indicates that you are losing touch with your true identity.

What can I say? I had a really elaborate dream last night, and it even has an aftershock. I’ll try to describe it as best that I can. It started with me and my sister somehow knowing how to conjure up creatures, a la Pan’s Labirynth. The setting was just as cryptic and somber as the movie. Then somehow we got found out and run out of town, where my sister must’ve split up from me. Then I got involved in trying to hustle a casino. I don’t exactly know what the hustle was, I just know we got caught, and the casino was doing everything in its jurisdiction to kick our ass. They were blocking all the entrances, and most of my dream was trying to figure out a way to escape to the parking lot and to the car. There were scenes of Scooby-Doo close calls in elevators and empty hotel rooms, which was actually pretty fun. There were scenes where I thought changing clothes a lot would confuse the cameras watching so I could continue to be in the same place (Naturally, to think of a plan since in this dream I’m conveniently not Daniel Ocean) and not have to keep moving. I got split up with my team and I managed to to sneak into a theater to rest and continue to find a way to escape the casino. Then people from my team came into the theater like, “Hey they know you’re in here already, so you should get out, cuz we’re already busted.” I sat there stunned for a moment, and then maybe watched the movie with a deep sense of futility for a little bit before I got up out of my seat. Somehow during that time, my friend Kelly asked for my wallet and I gave it to her. I forgot about it and walked out, but just as I was about to step out, I remembered my wallet and asked it back from Kelly. I got it back, but she was just holding the plastic photograph holder, and not the rest of my wallet. (I don’t have a plastic photo holder in my wallet, oddly) I asked her where it was and she said she must’ve dropped it back there. I went back and found it, but my bank card and driver’s license were missing. She said she didn’t touch them so these things just vanished into thin air. Naturally, I got really frustrated, because even in real life, I get really pissed off when I lose things of varying value. (And by value I mean they have more than a sentimental attachment to me, like important things you need in daily life) That’s when I found out I was asleep so I just woke up and cursed to how my mind can trick me so, since I felt that was so real. I proceeded to take a most pensive piss.

The End


May 30, 2007, 4:28 pm
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So Professor Freud…
May 27, 2007, 8:05 pm
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“To dream that you are watching a parade, indicates that you are being sidetracked or distracted from achieving your goals. For fear of failure, you may stop yourself from even pursuing your goals and desires. Alternatively, the parade symbolizes cycles, passage of time, or a special event in your life. Consider also the symbolism of whatever figures/animals/floats are in the parade. They may reflect a need for you to possess or control those attributes.”

Story of my life. I totally understand that I’m distracted, but it’s getting really difficult for me to recognize, or maybe just be honest with myself, to what these distractions are, or what they look like. Like when I was studying meditation, the mind is really tricky, especially when it’s tricking itself. Recently, I’ve only begun to recognize distraction after it’s done its damage, even though I’m under the impression that I’ve been diligent in looking out for things that get me sidetracked. (Especially when you realize that sometimes you do need to get sidetracked once in a while and it’s healthy.)

Fine, let’s do this.

Weather forecast looks cloudy
May 23, 2007, 7:50 am
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I’m feeling a storm coming. I need to prepare my survival kit or else I won’t make it.

May 20, 2007, 7:56 pm
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I just woke up after driving all night after the 7 PM show at UCLA. Man that drive is vicious. The 101 is hypnotizing when you stare at it too long. Then you do the wake-up face-shaking sequence best described by Lightning McQueen’s trailer when he was taking him to the big race.

Anyway, the show was overall pretty good. Clocked in about 4 hours with intermission, the cast accomplished a lot with their time onstage. To give you an idea of how the show was organized, the overlying theme was Balikbayan (which means “returning home”), and they cleverly broke that theme into three skits that portrayed different aspects of the Filipino experience. First was a story of US immigration dodging, second was a story set in Lebanon during a war, and third was a romantic story of a journalist and a filmmaker documenting political killings in the Philippines. They all explored the character’s notions of “home” and it was heartwarming. I liked how they brought it all together at the airport, where the characters had nary the thought that their fates were intertwined. (Aww…)

However, one critique I would have is their use of dance to evoke emotion in between scenes. At first, I really didn’t know what was going on, and when I did, I felt it disrupted the flow of the show, even though the connections can be read in the given programs. I felt their actors did a great job showing emotion, and the one good segue they had was in the play set in Lebanon, where the main character (my sister, Angelica, who did a great job by the way. Only in the internet will I admit that I did cry, which doesn’t really make a lot of sense. But whatever.) was in prayer and it segued to a song with their choir in the background. That was really nice! I mean, the solemnity of prayer was given strength as the harmonized voices echoed off the walls, giving the impression that for the main character, faith and prayer implies courage rather than a loss of reasonable hope. The cast had some great actors (it is LA!) so I feel their use of dance to evoke an emotion of the play instead disrupted it.

Given, it is really hard to figure out a way to mix dance and skits, and I think it has been the quest for every campus that has a PCN. Shit, Filipinos have written papers on that in the past. Flashbacks, TV shows, interpretive dance…

But, more importantly, UCLA is famous for Samahang Modern. I should talk about that.

DAMN. (followed with some stuttering, blubbering, and incomprehensive jibber-jabber)

Modern really tore it up last night. They really showed that within Filipino American culture, there’s a reason why Filipinos gravitate towards dancing. IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE REALLY GOOD AT IT.

Their first set was alright, but little did I know that they were just playing with the haters in the crowd with that set. The second set, called “Hypnotize” was the definition of dope. They got me off my seat while I was sippin my champagne, smoking my cigar with a suede jacket and a monocle on, to krump my clothes off, just go dumb. Their music choice, choreography, formations, was all perfect, and I really just want to watch it over, and over, and over, and over, and over…

It even made me think of choreographed dance as something Filipino’s could call their own in the sphere of arts within “Hip-Hop.” It’s something that is well represented in many campuses versions of “Modern,” and dance companies do exist with a lot of Filipino’s represented in it. Seeing one of the best perform (pardon me, do their thang) really does put everything in perspective.

Phew. I worked up a sweat there. Overall, I really had a great time at UCLA (minus the drive back to Salinas at 12 AM) and it was even sweeter when the tickets were FREE.99. And here’s my mandatory yell at the internets through my mic (or maybe just a rolled up piece of paper) : GREAT JOB, CAST AND CREW OF UCLA’S SPCN 2007!

May 10, 2007, 6:00 am
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I know it’s five days late, but Happy Belated Birthday, Lolo Ando. May you rest in peace. Rest assured, your mark in this world will continue through me.

Stay classy.